Morning...
Well, should be 'Good morning' but I guess with time people have come to accept that the morning is not always good so in recent times the 'good' is always omitted.
Anyway, it's been quite a while since I posted anything and it'll soon be my birthday so I guess I owe it to myself to put something up.
This is generally about me and 'my kind'. Somebody reading this just now will understand what I'm saying already. Most of you however...
I was watching the series Dexter and realised something very real; I'm just like him. And there are so many of 'us' out there but each of us feel like we're alone until we actually meet people or at least someone who understands us.
Rewind...I don't mean I kill people when I say I'm just like Dexter. I mean I pretend to feel things; I pretend to belong. But when I'm alone, my dark passenger disturbs me. Everyone probably has a dark passenger, a monster inside that is the real you. Some people just accept it way more than others. I accepted mine a long time ago and I've learned to hide it and more or less control it. I have been overcome by it a few times but I try my best.
I mentioned feeling good about meeting someone who is just like you; someone who understands what you go through. I've met people I thought were like me but I finally met someone who could be even worse than me. He's gone past controlling his dark passenger. I'd say he's 'in charge' of it now. I wish to be able to do that because then, nobody will be able to hurt you unless you wanted them to or unless you allowed it to happen. That's how powerful we are.
I have my weaknesses and my dark passenger takes advantage of them a lot of the time. And that hurts me...a lot. In other words, I hurt myself. But I also recover. I learned to recover and that takes a while. I'm not sure I can speed up the process any further.
And there are those times when I really need to be with someone (mostly myself) and the people around me will never understand. Hence the pretence I have to put up day by day.
No, you will not know when you're just being a nuisance to me. Sometimes I snap and it's not good. Well these days it's better so I'd probably just be rude in my speech and I might ignore most, if not all, your comments and conversation starters. That's the biggest clue you can get about my state of being.
I don't call it a state of mind because that's not what it is. As I said, some of you would understand.
So basically, I believe everyone is a different person when they're alone with themselves. We must keep up appearances to keep the harmony. I wrote this on facebook once and got a lot of disagreers (yes there's such word...apparently -_-) but you and I know that it's true.
Only advice I can give anyone fighting to take control of this 'monster' within them is to just let it be. Allow it to work and then note when it comes out to play; note the things that agitate that darkness and you will know what it is you can do to tame it and bring it under your control.
Kinda like training your pet.
;-)
Well, should be 'Good morning' but I guess with time people have come to accept that the morning is not always good so in recent times the 'good' is always omitted.
Anyway, it's been quite a while since I posted anything and it'll soon be my birthday so I guess I owe it to myself to put something up.
This is generally about me and 'my kind'. Somebody reading this just now will understand what I'm saying already. Most of you however...
I was watching the series Dexter and realised something very real; I'm just like him. And there are so many of 'us' out there but each of us feel like we're alone until we actually meet people or at least someone who understands us.
Rewind...I don't mean I kill people when I say I'm just like Dexter. I mean I pretend to feel things; I pretend to belong. But when I'm alone, my dark passenger disturbs me. Everyone probably has a dark passenger, a monster inside that is the real you. Some people just accept it way more than others. I accepted mine a long time ago and I've learned to hide it and more or less control it. I have been overcome by it a few times but I try my best.
I mentioned feeling good about meeting someone who is just like you; someone who understands what you go through. I've met people I thought were like me but I finally met someone who could be even worse than me. He's gone past controlling his dark passenger. I'd say he's 'in charge' of it now. I wish to be able to do that because then, nobody will be able to hurt you unless you wanted them to or unless you allowed it to happen. That's how powerful we are.
I have my weaknesses and my dark passenger takes advantage of them a lot of the time. And that hurts me...a lot. In other words, I hurt myself. But I also recover. I learned to recover and that takes a while. I'm not sure I can speed up the process any further.
And there are those times when I really need to be with someone (mostly myself) and the people around me will never understand. Hence the pretence I have to put up day by day.
No, you will not know when you're just being a nuisance to me. Sometimes I snap and it's not good. Well these days it's better so I'd probably just be rude in my speech and I might ignore most, if not all, your comments and conversation starters. That's the biggest clue you can get about my state of being.
I don't call it a state of mind because that's not what it is. As I said, some of you would understand.
So basically, I believe everyone is a different person when they're alone with themselves. We must keep up appearances to keep the harmony. I wrote this on facebook once and got a lot of disagreers (yes there's such word...apparently -_-) but you and I know that it's true.
Only advice I can give anyone fighting to take control of this 'monster' within them is to just let it be. Allow it to work and then note when it comes out to play; note the things that agitate that darkness and you will know what it is you can do to tame it and bring it under your control.
Kinda like training your pet.
;-)
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